


One Of Us

by celine_cooperjones



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26899192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celine_cooperjones/pseuds/celine_cooperjones
Summary: A Falice oneshot based on what happened during the seven year time jump between season 4 and 5!
Relationships: Alice Cooper/FP Jones II
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	One Of Us

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I'm super excited to share with all you! A collab with one of my favourite Falice writers, falicewins. We've worked so hard on it and hope you enjoy it! 

An engagement party was the last place on earth he wanted to be, and yet that was exactly what the person on the other line was asking from in. He had seen the feisty girl growing up from a young twelve year old who loved to build tree houses, to a woman who was about to marry the love of her life.

However, her invitation to come celebrate this event with them meant going back to Riverdale. And if he was being honest with himself, he was terrified to go back. Not only because of the people he might run into there, but more so because of all the memories that would come back to him, after successfully ignoring the pain that came with those special moments. They were long gone, and he knew he wasn’t strong enough to face that.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, Toni.” FP said a little reluctantly, hoping to find a new, unsuspicious way to back out.

How was he supposed to celebrate love when he felt like every bubble of a beautiful love story was about to burst eventually? Though, this was Toni Topaz he was talking to. Besides that, she knew him as good as he knew her and she wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily.

“You’ve seen me grow up, FP. I’m only marrying once. I really want you there.” She pleaded, the disappointment in her voice clearly noticeable.

It wasn’t as if she was oblivious about why FP wasn’t eager to come, she knew, and she understood, but this wasn’t about him. This was about her finally proposing to Cheryl in a world where that wasn’t always easy. She wanted to celebrate the kind of love they had even more than anything else in the world. And FP was a father figure to her, she needed him there more than anyone.

FP sighed silently and let out a small chuckle. “Alright. I can’t say no to you, can I? I’ll be there.” There formed a small smile on his face.

Toni was right, he couldn’t not show. That wouldn’t be fair and he was man enough not to let his own ego stand in the way. His anxiety to come back to Riverdale and face what he was so afraid of was his problem. He shouldn’t let down the people he had always called his family.

“Promise?” FP could hear the smile on her face.

And though it was a simple question that seemed unnecessary, he knew that once he’d agree, he really couldn’t go back anymore. It was a Serpent law that he intended to honor.

“Promise.” And FP Jones never broke a promise. Except one, to the one person he never thought he would hurt again.

How it’d had ever escalated to this, was a mystery he still tried to figure out. It took all the light out of the milestones in his life, the happiness of the small things, which he now had to experience all alone. He wanted to let go, but no bone in his body would ever be able to.

And that’s how he ended up in his truck, cruising through the streets of the town he used to know so well. Before he knew it, he drove past an old familiar house, one that he had once called home himself, as if his intuition had driven him there.

The last time he had been behind the bright red door, it had been anything but perfect. It’s a day he found himself reliving more often than he’d like. The look on her face, the words that slipped from her lips, the tears she shed, the tears that he shed, all of it haunted even his most pleasant dreams.

**

_It was as if every single emotion they had been bottling up finally came to a head, as if their picture perfect life was being torn apart, as if fate was saying one last f-you to them. How foolish to think that their bubble of bliss would never burst, like it had always done before?_

_As she looked at him, he could read something he had never seen before. It seemed as if she was trying with everything she had in her to act cold, but he knew her well enough to see that she was about to break. He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her that he was sorry, that everything is going to be okay, that they are going to be okay. Comfort her and soothe her in the way only he knows how. But the time for that has passed, something evident to both of them._

_“You should take that job.” Alice had told him, her voice cold and monotone._

_There wasn’t a hint of uncertainty in her words, nothing that could indicate her true feelings, even to him. And he liked to think of himself as the one person who could read Alice Smith’s every emotion._

_He stared at her, hoping that there would be some kind of indicator that she didn’t really mean it. The faintest of a lip twitch, or a downwards gaze, something he could call her out on. But there was nothing. She just stared at him with ice cold eyes._

_“What? Are you serious?”_

_“Yes.” She decided, her lips pursing. “I think a break would be good.”_

_And there it was. The small change he was looking for. The only thing that was the slightest hint to how she really felt, was the small, barely audible, crack in her voice. He knew that she was trying to keep it together, but he couldn’t rely on that right now. That she wasn’t honest about her emotions was frightening him. They hadn’t been in that place for over so long. He was convinced they had moved past that years ago._

_“Alice… this is just a fight.” He insisted, watching as she turned away from him. “We can talk about this.”_

_She whirled around, her eyes darker now, clouded with an immense amount of hurt. A type of hurt he hadn’t seen since the day he told her they had to end things all those years ago. “This is way deeper than just a silly fight, FP. You know that.”_

_His voice softened, allowing his vulnerable side to shine through. There was no point in playing a tough guy right now, not when they were hanging by a thread. “We don’t give up, Alice.”_

_There was a sad irony in his statement, as there was a list of multiple moments where it had seem like they had. If it wasn’t for a teenage pregnancy, drug trading wives and organ harvesting cults, maybe they wouldn’t have given up in the first place. But their romance wasn’t a fairytale. It never had been, and they were naive to believe that it had become one._

_“Who said anything about giving up? Maybe we just need some time apart.” She stated a little colder than he thought she meant it._

_“Do you really mean that? We don’t do things like that anymore, Alice.” He pleaded silently, his eyes glimmering._

_She didn’t answer, just looked away from him, not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes. He stepped over to her, tilting her face upwards so he could read her expression, read the thoughts she’s leaving unsaid. “Talk to me, please.”_

_She closed her eyes momentarily, and took in the warmth of his palm, breathed in the comforting scent of him. When she opened her eyes again, they were glossy with unshed tears. “I just need some air.” She had told him, her voice barely above a whisper._

_FP stayed silent for a few seconds wherein he just looked at her, his thumb still on her chin._

_“As long as you know that this isn’t over.” He whispered, his eyes glossing over with tears._

_**_

But after years since those words, it really seemed like it was. He had kept looking at her, his eyes begging her to tell him that she wanted him to stay. She had stayed silent. Just like that, she had watched him leave. And though he didn’t know it back then, it’d be the last time he would see her in a very long time. Before he turned around to leave their home, he leant in, closed his eyes, and planted a featherlight kiss on her forehead. Little did she know that was the last time she’d feel his lips on her for years.

**

“Are you excited to see your friends again, honey?” Alice asked her daughter as she searched for the perfect shade of lipstick to complete her look.

Betty nodded, taking a seat on the end of Alice’s bed and looked at her through the mirror. “It’s definitely nice to have everyone together again. It has been a long time, I’m just hoping it won’t be awkward.”

“Oh I’m sure it’ll be just like old times.” She smiled sympathetically. Betty returned the warm gesture. She certainly hoped her mother would be right.

“I just can’t believe Cheryl and Toni are getting married… I mean, I always imagined it would happen, but it’s a real eye opener of how fast time goes by.”

“You’re telling me. It feels like just yesterday you took your first steps.” Alice frowned, the nostalgia hitting her.

“Now your friends are getting married, and you're going to be getting married someday… I feel old.” Alice rolled her eyes playfully as she looked at her daughter.

Betty laughed softly, shaking her head at her mother getting sentimental. “I think you’ve still got a bit of time before that happens, Mom.”

  
“Here’s hoping.” She gave a glance over to her appearance and then turned around to look at her daughter. “Do you think you’re ready?”

The girl neatly stroked her hands over her dress to make sure there weren’t any krinkles. When there wasn’t, she looked up and smiled content. “I am. Are you?”

Alice smirked, raising an eyebrow as if it was a stupid question. “I’m always ready for a party, honey.”

Though it was a simple question, Betty knew that what she was asking her was filled with something much more than Alice had any clue of. Betty was sure her mother wasn’t ready for what she was about to face, but she couldn’t tell her just yet.

Betty had opted to drive, knowing that once she told her mom the secret she’s been keeping, she’d try and make a beeline back home. They talked peacefully with one another during the ride to the event hall. Listening to music and swapping stories.

But as they drove closer and closer to where the party was being held, Betty knew she had no choice but to tell her.

“Mom?” She started, biting down on her lip nervously.

“Yes?”

“Please don’t freak out.”

Alice’s eyebrow perked up, giving Betty a suspicious look. “Honey, has there ever been a moment in history where somebody started off a conversation with those words and the other person involved didn’t freak out?”

Betty left the joke for what it was. In every other situation she would have laughed, but she was about to get an earful the second she’d spill what she wanted to share.

“There is something about the party I haven’t told you yet…” She started out carefully, trying to delay this dreadful moment for as long as she could. Almost as if she was forgetting she was talking to her mother, the most impatient woman on Earth.

“Ok? What is it?” Alice still looked calm, mostly because she had no idea what kind of bomb her daughter was about to drop on her.

Betty just stared at her, not knowing how best to break the news. “Just tell me what is on your mind, you’re making me nervous.”

Betty took a breath, and then finally said what she meant to say. “FP has been invited… And he’s coming.” She divulged, finally ripping the band-aid off. “Jughead told me.”

The blood disappeared out of Alice’s face, and Betty was sure she would’ve passed out if she had been standing. “Mom?” Betty spoke, growing worried and wanting to know what was running through her head.

“Turn around.” Alice demanded. “I’m going home.”

“Mom-” Betty wanted to reason with her that things weren’t as bad as they seemed, but once again that would be a loss of energy as she knew her mother wasn’t going to listen anyway. The fact that she was being cut off before she even said a thing told her enough.

“Elizabeth Cooper, stop this car right now or I will tuck and roll and walk myself home.” Alice said harshly, giving her daughter a look that would have most likely worked in her childhood years, but Betty wasn’t taking it now.

“We’re going to the party.” Betty told her firmly, prepared to stand her ground.

“I don’t want to see him, Betty.” Alice told her, her voice shaky.

“You should have told me before I stepped into this car.” Part of her wanted to blame Betty and call her out for pulling something like that, but she knew exactly why she hadn’t said a thing: to avoid the reaction she had just got.

“You wouldn’t have come.” Betty pointed out, her face softening when she saw the look of pure fear on her mother’s face.

“You’re right though. It’s not fair I only told you now.” Betty did feel a little guilty, but she trusted herself that she had made the right call by keeping it from her as long as possible.

“But are you going to let him ruin your day? Sooner or later you were going to face him anyway, right? Why not rip the band-aid right off?”

Whatever Betty said came out muffled and incoherent as Alice drifted away into her thoughts. Replaying the last time they spoke in her mind.

**

_She heard a scoff come from him. It cost her everything not to look his way, but the frown and popping vein on his forehead caught her attention in the corner of her eye. The inside of her lip was nearly bleeding from biting on it as she tried her hardest not to cry._

_“Alice, you’re overreacting.” FP sounded annoyed._

_It was the exact combination of words and the tone he spoke in that triggered something in Alice she didn’t even know was still there. She had heard those words before from the one person that had ruined her life. Alice turned around on her heel, her eyes dangerously burning with fire._

_“I’m not overreacting, FP! I’m just not sure what you want from me.” She crossed her arms to look more tough, like she was the one in control, but it was the opposite of how she truly felt._

_She was crumbling._

_He looked at her completely dumbfounded. “You want me to be something I’m not.” She added quietly, but her tone was harsh._

_“No I don’t-“ He immediately wanted to defend himself, his face relaxing a little as he realized that maybe this was just a big miscommunication._

_But Alice wasn’t done talking yet. There was so much coming to the surface that even surprised her, but there was no use in holding back. She needed to have her say. No man was ever going to overrule her voice anymore._

_“I’m not the same wild, free spirited, seventeen year old who loved to get into trouble with you. I’ve changed.” She pointed her finger into her own chest as she spat out those words, her voice thick with emotion. Her eyes had glossed over, and she knew one more word would make her break down._

_Could she really blame him though? Of course he hoped that she still was the exact same girl that used to sneak into his bedroom after his father had passed out on the couch, the one that took a joy ride with him in the school van and the girl that wanted to change the world. But in her eyes, that girl was long gone. She wasn’t seventeen anymore. And maybe, deep down inside, FP still was more like his teenage self than she’d ever be._

_FP pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to stay calm, but in this scenario that felt like an impossible task he had given himself._

_“God, Alice, you make it sound like I am asking you to become some sort of criminal couple like Bonnie and Clyde. I thought you knew better than this. We’re not those kinds of people.”_

_It broke his heart to find out that maybe after all these years Alice’s view on the Serpents hadn’t changed. That maybe she still looked at him the same way she had done when she had written about him in the paper. Was he too naïve to believe that they had grown past all that hurt?_

_“That part of my life is over, I closed that door a long time ago.” Alice said dangerously calm, her eyes breaking from the contact with his._

_But FP knew better. Although it seemed like Alice was scared that the years of brainwashing from her ex-husband would have erased who she was in her core, he had seen her true spirit more times than she’d believe._

_“You can say that all you want, Alice, but you and I both know that’s not true. I know you better than anyone, and while your past self may not make as much of an appearance as it used to, deep down you’re still the same girl I fell in love with all those years ago.”_

_He dared to take a few steps into her direction, begging for her to read his eyes. What did he have to do for her to stop pushing her roots away and look into the mirror of her soul and face that no matter how hard she denied it, there was still a girl in there as much as there was still a boy in him. But to Alice, that was exactly what was making her so scared and defensive._

_“See? That’s the problem, FP. You expect me to be the girl you fell in love with, but that’s not who I am anymore.” The steps he had taken towards her, she erased by taking a few back._

_And not only the physical distance between them seemed to increase, the emotional distance had never been this far ever since they had gotten back together. There was a time they were practically joined at the hip, both physically and emotionally, but that feels long gone now._

_“She has been gone for a very long time and you know that. I can’t wash away decades of hurt to become that person again. And neither can you.” Alice let her very first tears fall, her words coming out in a choked sob. She had tried to fight it, but seeing the hurt and confusion in his eyes while her very own heart ached had become too much for her to handle._

_FP sighed once more as he, this time, wasn’t going for the soft approach. This wasn’t just about her struggle with her true identity, this was about her throwing rocks at him as if he was some sort of monster._

_“I’m not asking you to, but God, it’s like you’re ashamed of your past or something. I thought you grew past that?”_

_“I’m not ashamed.” She immediately spat back, pointing her finger at him. Normally FP would have been frightened by the look on her face, but this time he wasn’t going to back out._

_“Well then why are you getting so defensive?” He scoffed lightly and quickly rubbed his face with his hand in an attempt to calm himself down. It didn’t work._

_“Because I spent twenty years of my life with someone who couldn’t accept me for who I am, and I feel like that’s what’s happening right now.” Alice let out more emotionally than she had planned._

_She knew what she had said, and she knew even better that she had hit him where it stung. However, it was the most honest truth of what she was feeling. As soon as he realized what she had said, she closed her eyes and looked away from him, her mouth falling open in a small gasp._

_FP stood there, totally stunned. He shook his head in disbelief. He had never expected her to ever say something as cruel as that. “Please tell me you did not just compare me to, Hal.” His voice was thick with hurt, and Alice immediately regretted her words. “That’s a low blow, Alice. Even for you.”_

**

“Mom?” She vaguely registered her daughter’s voice. “Mom, are you listening to me?”

“What?” Alice questioned, snapping out of her thoughts. “Oh, yeah… I am.”

Betty gave her a sympathetic smile, knowing exactly what she was thinking of. “We’re here. Come on, you’ve got this. If he steps out of line, even once, I’ll be here to tell him to back off.”

Alice remained quiet and Betty’s voice softened, she reached over to squeeze Alice’s hand.

“Mom, I know how hard this has to be for you and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. But you are not backing out now, you are going to walk into that place and show FP exactly what he’s missing. Make him wish he never came back to town.”

**

Much to Alice’s surprise, FP hadn’t shown up yet. She had been keeping a very close eye on the guests, anxiously awaiting the arrival of a man she hasn’t seen in years, a man she loves despite all the hurt he’s caused her. She wasn’t even sure she wanted him to be there so she could let go of this anxiety and decide to leave, or that she’d blame the universe if it dared to make them cross paths.

“Mom, hasn’t anyone told you staring is rude?” Betty teased, passing her mother a drink. She knew what Alice was trying to do, and therefore tried to lighten the mood with a small joke. However, it wasn’t working.

“I just need to know if he’s here.” Alice explained, her eyes still glued to the door.

She would swear she had seen a thousand guests walking in there, but nobody even remotely looked like FP. One time her heart had jumped as she saw a man enter, but it was only the flannel that had her confused for a short second.

“And?”

“He’s not.” Alice said, letting out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

“Maybe he backed out last minute?” Betty suggested. She really hoped this was the case. Because if he did show up, she’d be the one to pick up the pieces. And though she loved her mother, she knew that it was going to be intense.

Alice’s eyes gleam. “You think so?”

Betty chuckled. At this point she wasn’t even sure if this was truly how her mother was feeling, or that it was just one big act. She knew better than to ask about that. “Are you relieved?”

“It’s one less thing to worry about.” Alice shrugged, taking a sip from the drink in her hand. There she was again. The mother Betty knew so well.

“We’re here for a happy occasion.” Betty reminded her. “Let’s drink some mimosa’s and have fun, okay?”

That plan was quickly foiled when she saw FP walk in the door; Looking so excruciatingly handsome, as if he was summoned by some cruel trick of fate. As usual he is wearing one of his signature flannels, one in the same color as the one he had accidentally left at their home when she told him to go.

And though she tried to feel some resentment towards the man, all she could think about was how badly she wanted to go over him, and smell the same cologne he had been wearing since they were teenagers.

It was more in her nature to turn her back to him or shoot him eye daggers but instead there was this deeply rooted urge to fold into his arms and see if he still smelt like home. It’s a scent so unique to him, and so comforting to her, and now all she had left of that was the faded scent of the flannel hung in the back of her closet.

Sometimes, when she allowed herself to, she grabbed the plaid that once used to belong to him and crawled back into bed. And though he hadn’t been sleeping next to her for more days than she could count, when she closed her eyes, it almost felt like he was right there with her. Gone were the days of cuddling in close to his side, breathing in his scent and listening to the sound of his heartbeat, all she had left of him now was an old cotton flannel. The thought makes her heart ache.

There was one vivid memory that had been haunting her dreams. Flashes of her worst nightmare kept bugging her nightrest, keeping her awake sunset after sunset. Alice had always been a strong woman who could keep her emotions to herself, but this gut wrecking feeling was even too much for someone with such a strong wall around her heart. She didn’t have control anymore, and maybe she didn’t want to any longer.

Her tears formed little stains on the plaid as she clutched it into her hands, squeezing it tightly as if magically FP would appear instead. But every morning, she woke up alone, FP’s side of the bed still made.

Over and over again, she pretended it didn’t happen as she put the flannel back into the back of the closet, like she had never touched it before and wouldn’t anytime soon. She often found herself wondering if he thought of her when he went to sleep every night, if he still slept on the side closest to the door because he always had this protective instinct that always chose that spot.

But no matter how hard every vessel in her body was aching to hold him, she knew he had moved on. Her very own eyes had witnessed it. Every time she replayed the memory in her head her stomach twisted.

Whenever she felt the urge to call him, her mind flashed back to the day she went to Greendale and saw him with another woman. Alice could’ve sworn she felt her heart break into tiny little pieces. She had always thought they were unable to be glued back together ever again. The woman was beautiful, and FP’s smile was beaming. He had moved on, and it was something she couldn’t bear to admit to herself.

Maybe it was her own fault. She was the one that wanted air. She was the one who promised to get in touch with him as soon as she was ready. Time after time she kept pushing that red button when his name appeared on her screen. Until one day, he stopped. And when she saw him with someone else, she understood why.

Everything around her seemed to have faded away, even the voice of her daughter didn’t get through to her anymore. All she could do was look at him, as if he was some miracle that she’d only see once in a lifetime. And suddenly, he turned his head and met her eyes. His breath got stuck in his throat as the gaze of her beautiful blue orbs went right through his very soul. He had tried to mentally prepare himself for seeing her, but somehow he had never expected for it to happen. She looked as breathtaking as always. There tugged the faintest of smiles on his lips, and his hand rose in the air, giving her a small, uncomfortable, wave. As fast as lightning struck, it hit her, the memories of how they fell apart, crashing down on her.

However, it wasn’t just her heart that had been shattered. He had been sitting there, on that bright spring day, the sun on his face and a beautiful woman across from him, but ever since he had set foot out of his house on Elm Street, there had been a gloomy shadow over his life.

**

_She was beautiful, no doubt about it, but she just wasn’t Alice. A thought that plagued FP’s mind from the moment he agreed to go out with her. He found himself involuntarily comparing the two of them most of the date, from the way she pronounced certain words to the way she smiled._

_When she laughed he found himself imagining the woman he really wanted to be with, thinking of how her nose would crinkle up as her laughter overtook. Thinking of how her smile lit up even his darkest days. Thinking about the way her eyes shined in the sunlight._

_Though, unlike Alice she laughed at his bad jokes, when he was used to getting the signature eye-roll that he had grown to love so much (however, that was Alice’s way of telling him that she found him funny), and she was a little more free spirited go-with-the-flow kind of person, which fitted his own personality like a puzzle piece._

_So yes, the woman in front of him was perfect in a lot of ways, but she could never hold a candle to Alice. He didn’t want a smile to his sometimes tasteless humor. He wanted her sassy eye-rolls. And maybe she was a little controlling sometimes, she knew he needed that. They completed each other. And he lost that._

_“I’m having my first motorbike lesson next week!” The woman excitedly told him, her pearly whites showing as she smiled. “Do you tour a lot?”_

_“Yeah, my girlfriend and I used to do that a lot.” FP said, not even full processing the words that came out of his mouth so naturally. “It’s a good way to clear your head for a bit.”_

_“Girlfriend? I thought you were single?” The woman’s eyebrows crinkled in confusion. She must have heard wrong, hadn’t she?_

_The combination of the look on her face and the realisation of his own words hits him like a brick and he makes a mental note to yell at himself later. Alice tends to live in his mind rent free, so really, it’s no surprise he’d slip up. Still it’s embarrassing. His cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, as if he had caught himself with a very unholy thought._

_“Oh, uh… yes. I’m single. I uh, I meant my ex and I.” He stumbled out. “Sorry about that.” An awkward chuckle escaped his mouth. He hoped to get past this quickly, but to his surprise the sweet woman was genuinely interested._

_“Was the breakup recent?” She asked. “I found with my last relationship I kept bringing him up because of how fresh it was.” FP was already glad that she didn’t stand up and leave him there after the mention of Alice._

_He chuckled a little bit more relaxed now, taking a sip from the glass of water in front of him. “A little embarrassed to admit that it isn’t recent. We’ve been a part for a while now, but we were together for so long that it’s just taking some getting used to, I guess.”_

_“How long were you together, if I may ask?”_

_By the look in his eyes she could see that this was deeper than any other relationship, and if she was going to date him she needed to know what kind of issue this actually was. Though, she didn’t have to assume. It was clear that there was a deeply rooted love for the woman he had just mentioned._

_“Well that’s a bit of a tough question to answer.” FP told her honestly._

_He smiled sadly, as he thought about how even though they hadn’t been together for long, their story had roots into their teenage years. “Technically, five years. But I’ve been in love with her since I was seventeen.”_

_The woman seemed to understand immediately. She sent him a sympathetic smile. “I think that’s only natural, when you have so much history with someone it’s like they become a piece of you.”_

_“Yeah, that’s exactly it.” He smiled a little. “Anyway, enough of me embarrassing myself in front of you. Tell me more about these motorcycle lessons.”_

_She smiled softly at him. It was sweet that he was trying, but it wasn’t going to put him into a situation he clearly wasn’t ready for. That wasn’t fair, to either of them._

_“FP, you’re very sweet and I love spending time with you… but you’re clearly still processing something that has hurt you deeply. You shouldn’t force things.”_

_“I’m alright, really.” He insisted, not wanting to sully the mood. He sounded more convincing than he thought he would, almost making himself believe his own words._

_“I don’t think you are. Take it easy, okay?” She suggested. “Let’s just talk as friends, no pressure, whatsoever.” FP looked at her for a few seconds and sighed quietly, guilt written all over his face._

_“I’m so sorry.” He apologized silently, genuinely feeling sorry for ruining the date._

_“There is nothing to be sorry for.” She assured him. “It’s okay to hurt, FP. Don’t be afraid of what’s in there. It’s okay not to be Mr. Tough Guy sometimes.”_

_“Thank you for being so understanding.” He smiled at her, reaching over to squeeze her hand. She smiled back. “I really killed the mood, didn’t I?”_

_“You haven’t. Besides, I’ve got tonnes of fun stories to tell that I guarantee will make you laugh.”_

_And so their date had continued, just two people enjoying one another’s company. At least that’s what it was to them._ _  
_ _  
_ _To people just looking in at them, it looked like much more. Which is exactly what Alice had presumed when she pulled up in front of the restaurant, watching them through the window. She’s not sure when exactly the first tear fell, but as soon as FP touched the woman’s hand, she found herself peeling out of the parking lot._

_She didn’t make it far before she had to pull over, her tears clouding her vision and making it nearly impossible to drive safely. As soon as she was parked, she crumbled, clenching the steering wheel so tight, her knuckles turned white._ _  
_ _  
_ _The tears flowed like a river and there was nothing she could do to stop them. With every tear came a bone wrecking sob, and for the first time since the night he left, Alice realized that it really was over. She had let go of the one good thing in her life and now there he was, on a date with some woman who isn’t her._

_She can’t blame him, there had been zero contact from either party, but it still felt like a slap in the face. After all, they had never officially broken up, it was just a break. It’s something she reminded herself of frequently, a break wasn’t definite, it meant there was still some semblance of hope for them. But now? Well, she wasn’t too sure._

**

Betty could see the look of pure overwhelming on her mother’s face, not only because she knew her so well, but because she had seen the slightest moment between her and the man that triggered so many emotions in her. To distract herself, Alice had turned to some of the old Serpents who retired long ago, so she’d have something to focus on other than her ex-boyfriend being so close to her.

In the corner of her eye, Betty saw FP standing all by himself, which was an opportunity she couldn’t let slide. Her mother was busy talking about some memories that clearly were amusing if she had to believe the sound of laughter next to her. However, she was only focused on talking to the man who stood there with his innocent face. She quickly excused herself, telling her Mom that she would get them another drink.

Before FP could even blink he felt an arm wrapping around his wrist, tugging hard to drag him away as fast as possible. He noticed that blonde her and fierce look everywhere. She was a Smith woman. It was Betty, if he was being exact. Her hold was firmer than he expected, and so he winced a little as she dragged him out, towards one of the hallways that were empty.

“Is this how you greet me after so many years? Thought we were a little closer than that.” FP tried to lighten the mood with a joke as he massaged his wrist, pretending to be hurt. However, that wasn’t going to work. Betty was furious, but he had no idea why.

“You think this is the right time for jokes?” She spat out, squinting her eyes as she looked at him in disbelief.

How could he possibly think she would find that funny after what she had just witnessed? FP looked at her sheepishly, his eyebrows raising to his hairline. He knew he had screwed up in his life before, but what exactly was she mad at?

“Do you have any idea what it does to my mom that you showed up here?” Betty said firmly, crossing her arms as she looked at him with a stern expression all over her face.

FP sighed. It was about that. He had hoped they could be civil for at least a few hours, but clearly he had been wrong about that.

“Believe me, I tried to get out of it just as you and I both would have preferred. But I couldn’t say no to Toni.” He tried to reason with Betty by sharing his side of the story, but she was already way past that.

“You waved at her! Why did you try to catch her attention?” The girl spat out in full defense. She had seen the very moment with her own eyes and couldn’t believe how stupid he was by doing something like that as if everything between them was just peachy.

“She was looking at me! What was I supposed to do, ignore her?” FP defended himself, raising his voice a little.

It wasn’t fair that Betty was taking this all out on him when he was struggling just as much. Besides, how much harm could a single wave actually do? He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but clearly they seemed to have other plans.

“You’ve been fine with that for the past years, why would today be any different?” Betty knew this was a stab that was going to hurt, and despite her fondness of the man, she was here to stick up for her mother. Even if it wasn't totally fair.

FP took a deep breath. He didn’t blame Betty for taking Alice’s side, not even if he knew that deep down she’d understand him if she’d know the whole story. But fighting about it wasn’t going to change anything. He only needed to be calm to not let the situation escalate any further than it already had.

“I’m not here to upset her, Betty. You can hate me all you want but you know I would never intentionally hurt her. I tried to cancel but Toni sounded so disappointed, I caved.” He explained carefully.

His strategy worked, as Betty’s shoulders finally relaxed a little. She knew she was being unreasonable. It was her protective nature (that she had clearly gotten from her mother) that had taken over.

“You still shouldn’t have tried to get her attention.” The girl said quietly, as if she was still trying to bring in arguments that would work in her favor.

FP sighed. Everything he did seemed to be wrong. If he had ignored her he would have been called out for that at this very moment. It didn’t matter, apparently she just needed to vent. “She saw me first! I was just trying to break the awkward eye contact.”

His face softened a little when Betty stayed silent, her eyes telling him that she understood what he was trying to say, but too proud to admit that to him out loud. Typical Smith move, once again. However, he’d take it.

“Believe me, it’s as hard for me to see her as it is for her to see me. It’s not just her who got hurt.” FP’s eyes glossed over as his voice grew softer.

“Besides, it looks like she is perfectly fine.” He let out a huff and turned around to walk away, but didn’t get the chance as Betty’s voice held him back.

“She is miserable without you!” Betty exclaimed loudly, making FP’s brow’s rise in confusion. How could that possibly be true if she had declined his calls for years?

“Really doesn’t seem like it, Betty.” FP shook his head as he was unwilling to believe such a thing. This was only a trick from her to let them talk to each other. Nothing more, nothing less.

“It’s just easier for her to hate you, than admit how she really feels.” Betty said softly as she shared something personal that she knew was the truth. Maybe it was something FP needed to hear for him to set his pride aside, but he only got the wrong message.

“So, she hates me? Great. Glad we cleared that up. Can I go now?” FP grew more frustrated by the second and huffed annoyed. It was a mistake to even come here in the first place, he should have listened to his gut.

Betty rolled her eyes by his comment, not surprised at all that he’d turn it into something like this.

“Are you completely stupid? No, she doesn’t hate you. Don’t you see what is happening? You just ran away like cowards who are too afraid to fight for something!” She let out, raising her voice once more.

At this point she didn’t even care if people would overhear them. It was time to call them out, and though Alice wasn’t there at that very moment, she’d planned on giving her the same earful FP was getting right now.

But when she saw the flash of hurt in FP’s eyes, the girl fell silent. FP quickly looked away from her as he bit his bottom lip to stop himself from crying. She was right.

“I really thought you two were better than this, but the longer it takes the more I lose faith in the both of you ever making things right. You’re not seventeen anymore, you’re not having a secret relationship. Fight for her.” Betty pleaded, her own eyes almost spilling tears too.

She had seen her mother with FP, and no matter how complicated it had been for their family dynamic, she had never been that happy and carefree as when she was with him.

“What if there is nothing left to fight for, Betty?” FP choked out, afraid that if he would really try to win her back, it’d be another stab that he would never recover from. He didn’t believe he could take that.

“Believe me, FP… I can read my mother. And it’s not over. If you want her, you should go get here before it’s really too late.”

**

Although FP was never cold (in fact, he had always given his jacket to Alice when she was chilly, even in the midst of winter) after his conversation with Betty, he had been shivering. This was an unusual feeling of nerves, guilt and regret flowing through his veins.

However, there wasn’t much time for him to focus on the mixture of emotions occupying both his mind and body, as he was asked by Toni to give a little speech as the one person that had known her longest. Again, he couldn’t say no to her. It was all he had to do before he could leave the mess that he had created with one simple wave, behind him.

“Attention everyone, I’d like to say a little something,” FP had grabbed one of the little spoons and clinked his glass, making everyone turn his way as he got up on the stage.

Suddenly, all eyes were on him. He wasn’t unfamiliar to speaking to crowds as the former Serpent King, but besides some faces of people that he knew way too well, it was mostly people from Cheryl’s circle that were, well… not his kind of people. He felt a lot of pressure to do well.

“Maybe it’s a little ironic that I am the one giving the speech here, considering that words aren’t really my strong suit… But I am trying, since a special someone asked me to be here today.” He turned his head a little so he could look at the once purple haired girl.

“Toni Topaz. My favorite little gemstone. I’ve got the honor to see you grow into this amazing young woman, who has the privilege to marry her high school sweetheart.” He was looking directly at both Cheryl and Toni this time, and the whole crowd had turned their way to see their bright smiles as they were being spoken to.

“I know it hasn’t always been easy for the two of you, but I know for fact that it only made you stronger. You two have the kind of love that I wish for everyone to have. Congratulations.” He raised his glass to celebrate them, followed by everyone else.

But he wasn’t focusing on the group of people. There was only one that always had and always would have his full attention. He’d search for her in a crowd of millions of people and still find those beautiful blue eyes that made him fall in love over and over again. His gaze was met by Alice, who noticeably swallowed. And though he was feet away from her, he could see the hurt blinking in her eyes. All he could think of was the moment it all started crumbling down. The moment it all went wrong.

**

_“Hey you.” FP greeted with a smile when Alice walked in the front door._

_She grins, gesturing him over for a kiss. “Hi. How was your day?”_

_“Long, boring. Missed you.”_

_“Mmm, same here.” She pecked another kiss to his lip, rubbing his arms. “I take it the job hunt isn't going so well?”_

_He sighed, and let his fingertips dip underneath her blouse, softly tickling her skin. “No, can’t seem to find anything good. I have an ad circled in the paper, might be my best option.” He frowned. “Maybe I should have just kept the job as sheriff.”_

_FP had never guessed those words would ever leave his mouth. He was glad that he wasn’t on Hiram’s payroll anymore, but losing this kind of structure in his life, something to be really proud of now matter the shitty circumstances, was way harder than he thought._

_Alice pouted her lips, understanding where this was coming from but feeling the need to remind him why he quit in the first place. She reached up her palm to stroke his cheek._

_“Honey, that job was killing you. You were so unhappy.”_

_“I know, but at least I was doing something you and the kids wouldn’t be ashamed to admit to.” He let out a low chuckle as if he was trying to brush it off as a harmless joke, but Alice took his words very seriously._ _  
_ _  
_ _“I’m not ashamed.” She insisted, making him look up directly into her eyes so he’d know that she meant it._

_He raised an eyebrow at her. Apparently she had picked up on the underlying tone in his voice (but honestly, when had she never? she always saw right through him)._

_“That’s sweet, Al, but you can’t be serious. It’s gotta be a tad embarrassing telling people your boyfriend is just riding on the coattails of your success.”_

_“I’m serious, I’d rather you take the time to find something you love doing, rather than be miserable every day.” She smiled a little and curled her arms around his neck, keeping him close._

_“Besides, I like having you home more often.” There tugged a grin on her face when those last words left her mouth._

_It had been a while since he quitted his job, but was she complaining about walking into the living room and seeing him cooking for their family instead of wondering if he’d come home safely, even in the middle of the night? Not at all._

_He smiled at her, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, letting himself melt into her for a moment. “You’re the best, you know that?”_

_She shrugged, a smug smile on her face. “I’ve been told once or twice.” She stole another kiss from him. “I take it you still haven’t thought about the other job offer?”_

_He sighed. Part of him had hoped that they wouldn’t discuss that anymore. “I have, I just don’t think it’s right for me.”_

_“It’s perfect for you, honey.” Alice tried to encourage him, not because she wanted to force him into a new job but mostly because she knew how much he loved being productive. She had a feeling this job might make him feel better in the long run._

_“It’s great and all, but I’m just not so sure about being away from Riverdale most of the time. I mean, you just said you like that I’m home more often. That won’t be the case if I take that job.” He tried to argue, as he made a strong case on why he shouldn't take the offer. Alice however, wouldn’t budge that easily._

_“But if it’s something you’ll enjoy, I feel like that’s more important than the distance. Besides, Greendale isn’t that far, you’ll still live here.” She decided. Determined that he should take it for his own sake._

_Sometimes FP could see things that weren’t even happening or likely, and she thought that this was one of those times. However, it was deeper than that._

_“Or, you’ll grab a hotel through the week. I can come visit on my day’s off. We could make it work.” She added, an encouraging smile on her face._

_“It just feels weird.” He sighed yet again. “Everything I love is here. You, The Serpents… even Pop’s.”_

_She perked an eyebrow up. “You’re lucky you said my name before Pop’s.” He chuckled. “And about the Serpents… a job out of town doesn’t mean you can’t be King anymore.”_

_He raised an eyebrow at her, an idea sparking in his mind. If he was being honest to himself, he had been discussing with himself whether to ask her before or not, but now the opening was presenting itself._

_“Maybe someone else needs to keep an eye on them for me while I am gone.”_

_“That could work.” She agreed. Whatever he was trying to hint on, she was oblivious to it. “Ask Toni or Sweet Pea. You trust them.”_

_“I actually meant you.” He told her shyly. It’s an idea he’s had for a while now, after all, in his eyes, she’s still his queen, even if they’ve never decided that out loud._

_“Me?” Her blue eyes grew wide. “But I’m not even a Serpent.”_

_“And? What if you would become one again?” He suggested. There was panic written all over her face, but FP couldn’t see it._

_“And before you ask, no, you wouldn’t have to do the Serpent dance. I wouldn’t let you anyway, my eyes only.” The smirk on his face instantly fell away when Alice pulled away from his arms. It was the wake-up call he needed to see what he had triggered._

_“FP, don’t be crazy.” She breathed out, a tad of annoyance in her voice._

_“I’m serious, Al.” He told her, any hint of a smile wiped away, replaced by complete and utter seriousness. “Like you said before, it’s in your blood.”_

_He walked over to her again, closing their distance by grabbing her hand. She didn’t jerk it away._

_“Would you officially become my Serpent Queen?” He asked her softly, a hint of blush on his cheeks._

_“You’re joking right?” She scoffed in disbelief. FP blinked. “FP, do you really think that’s a good idea?”_

_“I can’t think of anyone better, you were my queen once.” The sentiment of their memories hit him, and he realized in that very moment that’s one thing that had never changed throughout his whole life. In a way, his feelings for Alice were the only constant in his life._

_“Yeah, when we were seventeen!” She spat out._

_“What does age have to do with anything?” FP asked confused, as the two started talking alongside, instead of with each other._

_But Alice didn’t have the control to think about this rationally, as all the alarm bells had started to ring in her mind._

_“Everything! Don’t pretend we’re the same southside teenagers who had to join a gang in hopes of escaping our miserable lives for a little while.” She spewed._

_“Stop romanticizing that as if it was some sort of beautiful fairytale, FP, it was the opposite.”_

_He could barely believe the way she was reacting towards his proposal, and though he wondered where this sudden attack was coming from, he needed to defend himself first._

_“I’m not saying it was a fairytale, Al, far from it. I just think that there’s no one I would trust more to take my place, than you.” He told her, his voice much softer than hers._

_“You already help me with them anyway, you’re already an honorary Serpent in my eyes and everyone else’s. What’s the big deal?”_

_She shook her head, walking into the living room with a huff. “Yes, I help you but it’s because I love you, not because I want to run a gang.” Her eyes were burning with tears, but as her walls had come up once more she’d refuse to show them._

_He followed her, confused as to when and how their conversation went from completely harmless, to whatever it had turned into. “Alice, it’d be barely any different from what is happening now. I don’t see why you are making such a fuss about this.”_

_She whirled around on her heels, her lips pursed and her blue eyes darkened in anger. “You don’t know why I am ‘making a fuss’ about this? Don’t you see what you’re asking from me, FP? I don’t want that kind of life anymore! Stop guilt tripping me into this!”_

_**_

FP blinked, and realized where he was. Not at Elm Street. Not at home. But at the engagement party, back into this awful reality. He walked off the stage after he had received a short round of applause, but then Betty’s words echoed through his mind.

_“If you want her, you should go get her before it’s too late.”_

Like he said, words were never his strong suit. But they meant the world to Alice. It wasn’t just about actions. Hearing him say what she meant to him was something she needed more than anything, mostly because they had been keeping their true feeling for each other for decades. And so he decided to push the frightening feeling in his body away, and walked back on stage to finish his speech.

“Actually, there is something else I’d like to add…”

He spoke into the microphone, making everyone turn their head again, including Cheryl and Toni with surprised looks on their faces. FP searched for Alice’s eyes, making sure she was looking right at him as he was about to share some of his most personal emotions. Somehow, sharing it in front of an audience was making it both more personal and simultaneously more distant.

“What I just said… about that special kind of love… I once had that. But I let it slip away.” He glanced down at the floor for a second as he felt the tears sting in his eyes.

FP didn’t want to cry, at least not yet. Maybe when he was alone again he’d allow himself a moment of vulnerability. To help him control his emotions he looked back at the engaged couple. When he had turned his head, his eyes unexpectedly met Betty’s, who twinkled a little. The faintest of smiles appeared on her face, encouraging him to go on.

“You have something magical and special, a love that only comes once in a lifetime. Never let that go. Never stop showing each other that you’re in this for the long haul, because take it from me, the second you lose that, life just doesn’t feel right anymore.”

There fell a silence. The whole crowd had been rendered speechless by this unexpected twist to the speech. Everyone could feel that this came from a place FP didn’t go often. And though he could be talking about anybody, Alice knew perfectly well that this was about them and their love story. He locked eyes with her one more time, making sure that she knew that even if she wouldn’t talk to him, he still tried to communicate with her. It was the only way he knew how to.

“Anyway, cheers to the happy couple. I wish you a lifetime of happiness.” FP stumbled off the stage again and made his way out of the venue as quickly as he could. He needed a moment to breath. Alone.

**

Alice was known for having a temper. This was no secret, not to her daughters, not even to FP, and not to Toni who had given her FP’s hotel number as soon as she had demanded it. She had tried her hardest (in her own typical Alice way) to be nice, but the fire in those eyes was hard to ignore.

Her heels clicked on the marble floor of the hotel that Cheryl had definitely booked with her fortune, and the echo in the hall only mirrored her anger even more. She was going to tell him the truth and nothing but that. She didn’t even knock. Her hand was tightly wrapped around the doorknob as she opened it, her face as black as thunder.

“What the hell was that about?” She spat out, her voice rising to a level that would tell him that she was beyond angry.

FP looked up, and though she had startled him a little, he wasn’t too surprised to see her. He had been packing (not that he had much, but he didn’t want to accidentally leave something and then return later), but stopped his motions as soon as he faced her. Despite her outburst, his expression remained soft.

“Was this some kind of sick revenge you planned on?” She continued in her ramble, stepping closer to him now, her heels making a dangerous sound.

Alice looked confident, but the truth was, she was shaking both from the in, and outside with fury and anxiety.

“Are you serious? You honestly think I would do that to you?” FP asked softly, sounding hurt. He had expected a lot from her, but not this. They had known each other for decades, and somehow there was a part of her that truly believed he’d do such a thing.

And though his words hurt him in his very soul, this time he wasn’t going to raise his voice back. Their biggest mistake was always that they let their hothead personalities take over, instead of trying to stay calm. It was going to be a challenge, but he had to try.

“You clearly don’t know me at all, anymore. No matter what’s happened between us, I would never intentionally hurt you, Al.” He pointed out, shaking his head a little in disbelief as he took a few steps closer her way.

His eyes were glossing over, which was something she could notice when suddenly he was closer to her than he had been all night (or the last few years for that matter). Alice’s face softened a little as well, as she was surprised by the fact that he wasn’t going into full defence, which she was used to from him by now. It was either that, or he’d ignore her. Maybe she was even more afraid of that scenario. She had so much to say, and she needed him to listen. But before she had even swallowed the lump in her throat, FP proceeded.

“Did you ever think about how much it hurt me to go? To leave you there in that place that caused you so much pain, all by yourself?” It was a rhetorical question, and he knew that deep down she knew the answer. His tears were ready to spill, but after years of bottling up so much that he wanted to say to her, there was no way of stopping himself.

He wasn’t the monster that she tried to paint him as the last three years ago. Nothing had hurt him more than going through all this--again. In fact, he had been the last one to fight for their relationship and to him it was anything but fair that Alice was the one accusing _him_ of a revenge plan, when it had felt like this was her way of paying him back for hurting her before.

But Alice wasn’t a monster either, he knew that. Those were the demons in his head talking. That wasn’t who she was. His lips quivered slightly, but it was enough for Alice to notice. Like the soulmates they were and always had been, her lip started to do the exact same thing.

“I tried so hard to talk to you, to tell you that I would never want for you to pretend to be someone you’re not, but sometimes it felt like you weren’t even listening because you had your conclusions ready. You had already expected the worst of me, without hearing me out.” His voice cracked, and he needed to take a deep breath before he would be able to continue.

All these years he had wondered that maybe he hadn’t treated her right, that maybe he hadn’t loved her in the way she had deserved. That maybe if he had, that would’ve made her stay. But the more the thought about it, the more he had realized that this wasn’t about him. This was about something Alice needed to resolve with herself, and as long she couldn’t, fighting felt useless. So, he stopped calling, hoping that one day she would. But she hadn’t.

“And God, I know I made some mistakes in the past and I’ll be regretting that until my last breath, but it felt like fighting for something you had already given up.” He sighed quietly, mostly to get rid of the pressure in his chest. It didn’t help.

Alice had stayed silent and listened to his words, that pierced her heart. Not because he was wrong, but because once again he proved that he knew her way better than anyone else. Way better than herself, actually. But there is one thing he forgot. One thing that Alice couldn’t, not even if she had tried over and over again.

“You’re the one who moved on. You didn’t fight for us.” She said stoic, her whole body trembling from being both overwhelmed and furious. Her nails were being dug in to her palms, as a way to keep calm and stay grounded. It worked only a little.

“What are you talking about?” FP asked, confused.

“I saw you.”

“What?”

“I had to go to Greendale for work and I saw you out with some woman.” She cleared up, thinking that this is where she got him, that this was the moment that he’d admit that it was all an act because there was someone else in his life. If he had really loved her, he wouldn’t have moved on.

“And you never said anything?” FP huffed lowly, not understanding why she would keep all this to herself for so long.

“What was I going to do? Call you up after years of radio silence? I have a bit more pride than that.” Alice scoffed and poked her tongue in her cheek.

She crossed her arms to give herself a bit more power, and though it may have looked like that, she felt more vulnerable than ever. FP sighed quietly and shook his head. She had made her assumptions without ever thinking of checking with him what she had exactly seen.

“Alice, that didn’t mean anything. She asked me out for dinner, I agreed, that’s all. Nothing happened between us.” He explained, as calmly as he could.

Her head jerked up, after she had been avoiding his look. She couldn’t quite figure out whether he was telling the truth or not.

“And I’m supposed to just believe you?” Her voice was still bitter, not in any way telling him that they were making progress.

Maybe the more direct approach would make her understand that there was nobody else in the world he wanted to be with, no matter what she may or may not have seen.

“You think I moved on?” He scoffed, and looked away. She was a little taken aback by his reaction.

His hands tangled in his hair for a moment, to find a moment of clarity, but it was no use. FP looked up again and met her eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore, talking to the wall, and only getting insulted back. If she wanted to know the truth, the truth is what she’d get.

“Alice you have no idea. I used to pass the perfume aisle and search for the one you always use, just so I could pretend for the slightest moment that you were there with me. And on my nightstand, I kept a picture of you, and I looked at it every night, praying that one day you’d call and you would be mine again.” He rambled, accidentally raising his voice as he continued.

His chest rose and fell from his fast he had been talking and now he could pay attention to her eyes again, he noticed that they had softened permanently this time. His words had gotten through to her. He could see the tear in the corner of her, and she wondered if she’d be okay with letting it fall.

“I didn’t move on, Alice. I can’t move on from you, because you’re it for me. You’ve been since I was seventeen.” He pleaded quietly, taking a few more steps into her direction so he could see his own reflection in his glossy eyes. His confession had made her knees weak and her eyes gloss over.

“I’m not the same girl you knew twenty years ago. I’m not wild and free spirited. I’m damaged and broken, and there was a time I thought you could glue me back together but now I don’t know.” Alice croaked out, her voice fading to nothing but a tiny whisper. As he expected, her first tear fell. Her wall was down. She was ready to talk, for real this time.

FP’s shoulders relaxed a little bit when he had seen the change in her body language, and had to blink a few times to stop himself from breaking down along with her. That couldn’t happen, not yet at least. His heart broke by the thought that somehow, she didn’t believe in her own strength. As if she had always needed someone, needed him, to make her whole.

“You always felt like you needed someone to piece you back together, but Alice, you did it all on your own. You’re the strongest person I know, _you’re_ the one who glued _me_ back together.” He confessed silently, his heart glowing as he thought of all the moments that she had been his rock, without question.

Alice stayed quiet, she only looked at him with a look on her face that he would describe as the smallest smile he had ever seen. With the palm of her hand she wiped away a few more tears that had fallen. All she could do was stare at him, as if she was soaking in his appearance.

“You don’t need a savior, Alice.” FP added softly.

“Then why do you always save me when I feel like it’s all getting too much? When I am about to give up?” Alice asked quietly, the desperation for an answer hidden in her question.

“You’ve always done that by yourself. You’re the one that saved you.” He reminded her, his voice convincing, but it wasn’t enough for Alice to fully believe it.

After years of being told that she’d always need someone else, that she’d always be dependent on someone else's will, it was hard to see that she had overcome all her hardest days because of her own hard work. That all she had done of her family had been from her fire within.

It hadn't been FP. It hadn’t been Charles. It had been Alice. But washing away so many years of hurt wasn’t easy. Why would they beat the odds this time? They knew how their story was going to end and she was sick of trying. Quickly as she could, she wiped away her tears and took a few steps back from him, creating a bigger distance.

“Maybe the universe hasn’t been on our side. Maybe we couldn’t fight against what was meant to happen. It has been pushing us apart for decades, maybe we were too naive to think things would be different this time. ” Alice suddenly rambled, her very own fear and anxiety taking over before she had even noticed. But even when she did, the person across from her could read her like no other.

He took one step into her direction, again.

“You know how many times I was wide awake, blaming the universe for pushing us apart again? Do you know how many times I felt like we were some tragic star-crossed lovers? But that’s not fair, Alice. It’s not the universe nor the stars fault that we broke each other again. That’s on us.”

Unexpectedly, he grabbed her hand into his. She let him, even though the gesture made her twitch. It had been years since she had last felt the warmth of his hand. It still felt the same. The feeling of home.

“And you know what? Finding something to be mad at, something so untouchable as the universe, the stars, the greater good, made it easier sometimes. I had something to point my anger at, instead of looking in the mirror and admit to myself that I was mad at us. For not trying. For not fighting, again.” He pleaded, his face close to hers again, a sad smile on her face as she confessed all his deepest feelings of the past few years.

Alice sniffled as he kept talking, the overwhelming feeling of his words not only rendering her speechless, but making it impossible for her to react. FP didn’t mind. Normally he was the silent one, and words were her thing, but this time he’d do all the talking.

“I am done pretending that we have no power over us. We do. We’re in charge of where we wanna go. But I can’t steer this ship alone, I need you for that.” He whispered out.

FP rested his forehead against hers, and both of them closed their eyes. Alice did answer, only without words. They stood there for a little moment as they soaked in being this close to one another, when their future was still so uncertain. He pulled back a little, to talk to her again. But before he did, his hand reached up to cup her cheek.

“I am not going to lie to you, opening up part of ourselves that we would rather want to be hidden forever isn’t going to be easy. But if we don’t try, we won’t make it. It’s time we stop ignoring our past and look the devil right into its eyes.” HIs thumb stroke absentmindedly over her cheek. She still trembled, but like always even the slightest touch of him could calm her down enough.

“The only question is, do you want that? Are you willing to go through hell with me if there is a chance the journey will bring us heaven?” His voice was shaking with insecurity, but if he wouldn’t ask her straight away they wouldn’t grow.

Alice looked away from a moment, biting the inside of her lips so she wouldn’t break down in his arms. When she looked back at him, his eyes were soft and innocent, like she had always known them to be.

“I’m scared.” She said almost inaudible.

“I know, Al, I know you are-”

Alice cut him off. She broke free from him, his hand falling from her face.

“No, you don’t understand. Everyone I’ve ever loved left me, I never thought that you would do the same.” Her voice cracked as she started to cry again and this time even started to sob.

  
“You pushed me away!” FP exclaimed.

  
“I was protecting us!” She shot back, in defence.

  
“From what? From love? From each other?” He asked confused, as once again he had a lot of trouble following her.

She’s quiet for a moment, her voice growing noticeably softer, more insecure.

“Everytime I’m happy…. I feel like it’s going to be taken away from me.” She admitted so silently, that he could feel his heart shatter.

“But I had control over it. If I wound up getting hurt, I could at least choose when and how and prepare myself for it, instead of it suddenly being ripped away when I least expected it.”

His face softened slightly, Alice’s words cutting him like a knife. “Why didn’t you just tell me that, Al? We could’ve talked about it, instead you pushed us away and hurt both of us.”

“I thought I’d be doing you a favor. Ridding you of me and my baggage.” She told him, casting her eyes downward to avoid his eyes. “It’s too much, FP. I am too much.”

“You’re not too much, Alice.” He assured her, taking her face in his hands. It was the first time in far too long that he had touched her, she didn’t realize just how much she had missed it. “I love you for everything that you are, every flaw, every imperfection, the good and the bad. I thought you knew that?”

“I-” She started to protest.

“I’m not done-”

“No, FP. Please, don’t. I can’t hear you say how much you love my flaws, I can’t listen to you justify my destructive tendencies, not when they’re the reason we fell apart.” She explained, taking his hand from her face and squeezing it with her own.

“This isn’t a fairytale where you make some grand gesture because you accidentally ran into me. This is real life. And we screwed up, again. Why bother trying if we know how it’s going to end?” If her words before had hurt, these ones just felt like she had reached into his chest and tore his heart in two.

“Because I’m not giving up this time.” He promised her.

“FP, I’m a lost cause.”

“Not to me you aren’t, believe me, Alice, I wouldn’t have spent the majority of my life being in love with you if I didn’t know you were the one for me. If I thought there was no point in trying, I wouldn’t have made that speech, I wouldn’t have spent the last three years searching for you in every face I see. You’re not a lost cause, Alice, far from it.”

She’s quiet for a moment, not sure what to say in response. “I’m just going to push you away again, what’s the-”

He sighs, not wanting to hear her list any more reasons why he shouldn’t love her, why he should give up on her. So instead, he kisses her. Feeling fireworks go off in his brain as his lips meet hers for the first time in far too long. It caught her off guard at first but she got lost in it for a moment, kissing him back when the original shock wore off.   
  
She’s the one who broke the kiss first. “What was that?” She huffed out, her mind a little hazy.

He smirked. “Sorry, it’s the only way I know how to shut you up.” She’s quiet, still trying to find her words as her cheeks flush. His eyebrows turned into a frown and he stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Why do you always look for reasons why this won't work? Are you trying to tell me you don't want it too, that you don't want me?"

Her eyes grew wide almost immediately, and she shook her head. “No, of course not. I do want you, FP. I love you. But I’m just so confused. There's been no contact for years and now all of a sudden you're declaring your feelings for me in a wedding speech?”

He froze, his brain not taking in anything after she said those three little words that hold so much meaning. Part of him had never doubted that she still felt that way, but hearing it again after such a long time was special. “You still love me?”

She raised an unamused eyebrow at him. “Seriously? That’s all you heard?”

“You still love me.” He repeated, a hint of a smirk on his lips.

  
She rolled her eyes, smiling a little herself. Of course that’s all he would hear. “Yeah? So, you still love me.” Alice tried to sound convinced of herself, but the hint of insecurity in her voice made him soft.

She would brush it off as playfully, as she had pushed him backwards a little, his hand falling from her face. However, she was afraid that maybe she had made the wrong assumption.

“I do.” He agreed, taking a step towards her. “I love you so much.”

Her breath hitched as he stepped closer, her whole body aching to reach out for him. “FP, don’t say that just because I did, you don’t have to-”

He frowned, taking her hands in his own and stroking his thumbs over her skin. “I hate that he hurt you so deeply that you just can’t believe me when I tell you I love you. There’s no double meaning behind it, I’m not saying it because you did, baby.”

His old pet name for her slipped so effortlessly from his lips and she felt her knees grow weak.

“I really hope there will be a day that you’ll look at yourself, and can honestly say that you believe you deserve to be loved, Alice. And until you can, I’ll tell you every single day for the rest of my life just how much I love you.”

“Oh, FP...” Alice breathed out, lifting up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Her arms curled around his neck as his found a home around her waist. “I love you.” She whispers against his lips, her eyes wet with tears of joy and love, as she dived back in for another kiss.

It’s a magical feeling, kissing him again. It felt like coming home, like things were finally balanced once again, like they had never parted, like they do this every day, like they were made for each other, (she likes to think that’s true). His hands tangling in her hair still sent a shiver down her spine, and when he sighed pleasantly into her mouth, she felt like she could live in this moment for the rest of her life and never tire.

He follows her lips as she lowers herself back down to flat feet, unbuttoning his flannel. He let her do so, only stopping her once she tried to push it off his shoulders. “Hey, hey, we don’t have to do that, Al.”

‘I want to.” She told him, stroking his beard and taking in the features of his face. She had missed him so much.

He nodded, letting his hands fall low on her back, rubbing circles into her skin through the fabric of her dress. “You sure? We were starting to make some progress with our talk there.”   
  
She smiled. “We can continue our talk afterwards, I just want to get lost with you for a little bit.” She told him, tracing her finger over his heart.

“I’ve missed being in your arms, I’ve missed touching you and kissing you. Right now, I just want to be us again. Like nothing ever went wrong, can we do that?”

He nodded, leaning his head down to kiss her softly, more gentle then the previous kiss. “I’d love that.” He scooped her up into his arms, the sound of her laughter music to his ears as he carried her over to the bed.

And for the first time in three years, everything felt right with both of them. It was like they were the only two people on the planet, like this was some fated moment, written in the stars for them. Every touch lit up their bodies like a livewire, every kiss felt like a firework, and every time one of them whispered “I love you”, it felt right.

It was something they both agreed on, something that lingered on both of their minds as they lay tangled in the bedsheets, their bodies flush against one another as they stole kisses and happy smiles.

“You’re so beautiful” He whispered, tucking a perfectly curled strand of hair behind her ear.

She didn’t have a verbal response, just felt herself get choked up as she leaned in and pressed yet another kiss to his lips. They’ve both stolen more kisses then they can count, making up for lost time.

She nuzzled into his side, burying her head into the crook of his neck and breathing him in. He smiled, letting his fingertips trace her bare skin, lovingly.

He only snapped out of his lovesick daze when he heard her sniffle softly. He felt his heart drop into his stomach at the sound. “Al? Are you crying?” He questioned, his voice soft. “Hey, hey, what’s going on? Are you okay? Did I do something?”

She shook her head, leaning back enough so she could look at him. “I’m okay, and you, you didn’t do anything wrong.” She assured him, her voice shaky.

“I just… I don’t know. I never thought I’d feel you hold me again. I never thought that I would be in your arms again and listen to your heartbeat. I’ve just missed this, is all. I’ve missed you.”

FP relaxed and absentmindedly pulled her closer.

“I missed you too.” He told her, a small smile on his face, as he reached out to wipe her tears away.

“We’ve been pushed apart so many times, but I think by now we both know it’s never a permanent thing. And I promise you, Al, I am never letting you go again. You’re my girl, you always have been and you always will be.”

She smiled at him and chuckled through her tears as she rolled over so her body was resting atop his. “Have you gone soft on me, Jones?”

“Don't act like you didn't know that already.” He teased. “You know me better than anyone else in this world, Al."

“I do,” She agreed, sipping her head down to steal a kiss. “Still I think it’s cute when you let your soft side show.”

“Well you bring it out in me, you’re the reason I’m a secret softie.” He chuckled, tightening his arms around her when she rested her head on his chest again.

“Seriously though, Al. I know our history doesn't exactly make it clear but I promise you, I'm in this for the long haul. I'm not letting you go ever again."

She was quiet for a moment, her thoughts going a mile a minute. “Let’s get out of here,” She told him quietly. “Out of this town, away from everything and everyone, start over, just you and I.”

The suggestion caught him off guard and he glanced down at her, his fingers pausing in her hair. “But your whole life is here?”

“No,” She replied, leaning up on her elbows and stroking his hair back. “My job is here. You, you’re my life.”

Alice’s words sent a warm glow through his body, one that he was familiar with but only she could awaken in him. Maybe they didn’t need to move to another town to start fresh. Maybe they needed to go back to where it all began.

“Well, then maybe I’ve got a better idea…”

**

Alice’s heels were crushing the gravel she was walking on, a key dangling from her finger as FP trailed along behind her, a stack of boxes in his arms.

“Come, hurry!” She turned around on her heel and watched him with a grin. He was packed with all of their stuff, which made it even funnier to tease him about his slow pace.

“You wanna carry the boxes instead?” FP raised his eyebrow and moved his head to look directly at her, his smirk betraying that he was teasing her.

“No, honey. You’re the muscles, I’ve got the looks. That’s just the way it is.” Alice shrugged, a giggle leaving her lips as she saw him shaking his head.

“Hard to argue with that. Though, you do think I am cute, right?”

“Hmm, I’ve got to say yes now, don’t I?” Alice played along.

“You better, or I’ll set these boxes back in the truck.” He teased, following her up the steps.

She giggled. “I’m sorry, I’m excited.”

He smiles. “I know you are, I am too.” He steps behind her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

He sets the boxes down on the porch, not wanting to miss the first glance at he and Alice’s new home. After talking about nothing else but moving, he had expected her to practically run into the house. But she didn’t. She stood on the porch, looking at the door that separated them from the outside, to the new place they were about to call home. It was a small but beautiful house, right on the border between the North and South side of town.

“Are you ready?” He asked, carefully.

Alice turned around, as if she had been woken up out of her daydream. And when she processed his question, she realized that she wasn’t scared. She was ready. It was a step long overdue, and one they were both eager to make, the first step towards the rest of their lives.

“Yeah, I am. I’m more than ready.” She smiled sweetly, and in that very moment they enjoyed the few seconds between them before starting a new part of their story. One with the happy ending they always deserved. One with forever and always.

Alice looked at the key in her hand and smiled at it, as if she was welcoming it to her life. And then, she raised her hand and pushed their key into the lock for the very first time. With one swift turn, the last chapter of their love story had begun. 


End file.
